You don’t know how it feels to have someone always discourage you and put you down. To call you hideous, ugly, fat, disgusting, everyday. To see you, and just shudder in disgust. I laugh it off, like every other day. But some days the pain, the humiliation, the shame really gets to my head and messes me up. I just want to forever go into a deep slumber or die already. If someone offered me a pill that killed me with no pain, I would take it without a hesitation. I’m always put down to my worst but people still expect the best from me. If you really expect the best, stop criticizing me. I’m sorry I can’t be 100lbs like my friends. I’m sorry I’m not as pretty as them. I’m sorry… I’m sorry I even try to look my best, and have a interest in fashion, and try to look my best because I’m ugly even with effort. I’m sorry I’m so lazy. I’m sorry I’m such a lazy fat bitch. I’m sorry that my thighs always touch. I’m sorry I can’t be like like them. I’m sorry I’m not pretty enough. Why do I exist. Was I born so you can be ashamed of me… why can’t you be happy that I’m trying? I have to physically block my ears so I can block out your criticism and just stop listening to your horrible words. Maybe all I am to you is a object, a tool, something that you can go brag to other people. I’m sorry I was born this hideous way.
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